Amor Fati… Love for One’s Fate!

Amor Fati was a wonderful concept I came across last year in conversation with a close friend. This wonderful idea is associated with Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

My spiritual bent always took me to living a life of gratitude. There have been so many places and people that I heard from to accept the present, not resist what is happening.

Amor Fati is a step ahead of all of these. It entails us to not accept but love the life that we have. The idea is that all that happens was meant to happen and is the best that could have happened. Even if it is something unpleasant, maybe right now we do not see the good in it… but there is something good in it too. So no matter what… love the life you have.

Amor Fati is a Latin phrase and it literally means “love of fate” or “love of One’s fate”.

It does seem a bit tough to do this, especially in face of adversities. But all you need to do in a tough time is close your eyes and take yourself back to that feeling of love and associate it with the present moment. You may start from a feeling of general gratitude.

I was crying for a Pair of Shoes until I saw a man with no feet.

Our pain always seems the most to bear. But the truth is that pain is an integral part of life. There really is nobody in the world who is pain free, the kind of pain and intensity varies, even for each of us from time to time.

The future makes us anxious. The past causes sadness. Most of the times we are not in the present because we are either worried of the future or pained by the past.

Amort Fati by asking us to love our fate helps us in being in the present. When we are on a path like that there can be no worry of what will be and no pain for what has been. There only can be total surrender and gratitude for what is.

Amor Fati is Not merely to bear what is necessary but to love it!

How wonderful it would be if we were in complete love with our fate… not wanting anything to change. Life would then not be a series of regrets that we make it so often.

Mind believes whatever we tell it. We have always told our mind to be ambitious and in being ambitious we get stuck with the end result.

Bhagwat Gita also talks about karma yoga. Sri Krishna in Gita told us to not be stuck on the results but just do your actions. In a way he also told us the same idea that Amor Fati leads to. He might not have said as much about loving our fate but he did say that true devotee does not question if he or she does not get the results they aimed for. A true devotee works from a place of complete surrender of his end results.

Now it is not about being a devotee or not… the detachment from fruits of your labour would only bring you happiness. Being equanimous in joy and sorrow, happiness and pain – I know easier said then done!

“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.”

Epictetus

Acceptance of what is makes us struggle less. Because the main reason behind our struggles is the need for more and more – the endless desires.

In an art of living Happiness program, that I took up long ago, I learnt the seven key skills to happy living. One of them said “What we resist persists”. Isn’t it so true the more you want to change the circumstances the more they persist. Another one was ” Accept people and situations as they are”. Acceptance is great but loving what is takes us one step or maybe ten closer to happiness. And trust me its just a mindset.

You are preparing for your dream job. Focusing too much on what would happen, if you would make it? What if you do not…. All these thoughts are only going to make you anxious. Why not instead be grateful for this opportunity to do what you choose to do, or whatever else you are grateful for in the moment. Why not just have faith that what will be will be the best for you. Just love whatever your fate serves you. Just have faith, I know easier said then done. But its a mindset change that can easily be worked on.

Having said that, I would also say that to be careful when you suggest this philosophy to someone or even yourself. In times of trouble it could seem like toxic positivity. Do read my blog to know more what toxic positivity is

Toxic Positivity – Yes positivity can be toxic too!

It is always better to change ones approach in a more balanced state. At a time when the person is already struggling it may seem a little too much to not detest and start loving what is happening.

Amor Fati is a wonderful philosphy to follow in your life. But give yourself time to ease it into your mindset. The change will happen slowly over a period of time.